Individuals make decisions, not groups.

We can make the decision to follow a group but ultimately the decisions we make every moment of our lives are our own.

When we choose to associate with a group that makes decisions that are harmful to others, we are responsible for our actions.

When we label individuals as group members instead of individuals making personal decisions, we empower the group and the beliefs of the individuals making the decisions. This can be both helpful and hurtful as every person in the group has slightly different thoughts and beliefs and we can be easily swayed by strong leadership if we have no other opposing forces in our experience.

The question is…’what do you want?’ NOT ‘what don’t you want?’.

When we are asked the question ‘what do you want?’ we are instilled with a sense of hope. We envision our lives as something different than it is in this moment and focus our attention on what would make us feel better.

If, instead, we focus on what we don’t want, we perceive our life experience as being something we are afraid of. If we put ourselves in the shoes of individuals who perceive that we are a threat, we will behave in ways that seem irrational to those of us who have had life experience that have been positive, loving and nurturing. We have a sense of hope because we have experienced joy in our lives. We have people in our lives that we trust. We have seen awe-inspiring things, heard soul-touching sounds, smelled the smells that trigger thoughts of being nurtured and felt the embrace of those who have loved us dearly.

If we have never had any of that or very little of that in our experience, we can feel fearful, angry, bitter, rage, contempt, loathing, hatred, but worst of all…hopeless.

The feeling of hopelessness is dangerous as we can no longer see our lives as being any different than the way it feels right this minute. It is in these times of hopelessness that we need an opposing force in our experience that helps us believe that things can be different. It is our personal responsibility to focus on what we want, not what we don’t want. Every individual has the choice to focus on whatever we choose.

We are so free that we are free to choose bondage, even if it is the bondage of our own beliefs.